Ø
Conditional love - only being considered lovable when you -
in your childhood years - behaved according to your parent’s
wishes and as unlovable when you didn’t.
Ø
If any
boundaries you put up in your childhood years were met with:
-
Your parent’s or main caregivers disrespect.
Main caregivers could be your nanny, grandparents, teachers
or anyone who played an important part in your early years.
-
Your parents or main caregivers’ overt or covert hostility.
-
Your parent’s or main caregivers emotional withdrawal.
-
Ridicule and/or name calling (e.g. you idiot, looser,
no-hoper etc).
-
Physical, emotional or any other type of abuse.
Ø
Parental
over-protectiveness.
Ø
Having
few (or no) limits imposed throughout childhood.
Ø
Inconsistent limits - as often experienced by children of
alcoholic, mentally ill or emotionally wounded and/or
unstable parents.
Ø
Experiences of trauma - as in cases of physical, sexual
and/or severe emotional abuse.
Ø
Experiences of trauma - as in being the victim of a severe
accident or debilitating illness.
Ø
Early
loss of parent/s or main caregivers through death or
divorce.
Ø
Extreme
financial hardship.
Ø
Difficult
personality or character traits as in being overactive and
confronting (as sometimes seen in children who suffer from
ADHD and/or other disabilities).
Ø
Sharing
your home with a sibling who requires significant parental
attention and/or exhausts the parents’ physical, mental
and/or emotional energy as in severe or chronic illness or
disability.
Ø
Carrying
adult responsibility in childhood as in being expected to
care for younger siblings.
Ø
Adopting
a care-taking role for a parent/s or main caregiver as in
parental alcoholism, chronic illness or disease.
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