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THE VALUE OF SELF-DISCIPLINE
At this time of year - the half-way mark - I usually ask
myself a tough question: "Where am I on the ladder
towards the goals I had set for myself at the beginning of
the year?" I must confess that the answer is not always
as satisfying as I would like it to be, which then leads me
to ask the next question? "Why is it so easy to make
decisions and plans at the beginning of a new year and so
darn difficult to actually stick to those plans?"
Whilst there is clearly more
than one answer to this question, for after all "life
happens whilst we are making other plans", the answer I
usually have to give myself (if I am honest) is: "I am
not disciplined enough!" Yes, I confess that sometimes I
fail miserably in the self-discipline department. Now, don't
you sneer at me! I am sure that if you were to ask yourself
the same question (being honest with yourself) your answer
wouldn't be all that dissimilar to mine.
So, what is it about
self-discipline that makes it almost akin to a four letter
word? Well, to many of us it suggests that perhaps we might
need do stuff we don't particularly enjoy. For some of us it
may have negative associations, perhaps due painful
childhood memories of people who had authority over us, of
obedience that was required of us and/or the type of
punishment meted out when we failed other people's
expectations. If this were true for you it would be no
wonder if you preferred to switch off as soon as the word
was mentioned. I bet, however, that despite this, you get
just as annoyed with yourself as I do with myself when you
don't achieve your hopes, dreams and goals.
SELF-DISCIPLINE - PLEASURE OR PAIN???
Because self-discipline clearly is necessary to achieve just
about anything in life, I have given a great deal of thought
to this dilemma and discovered that achievement is just as
possible if I approach things as little differently. How?
By changing my focus.
Let me explain: If I focus on
the deprivation I might feel when I want to achieve
weight-loss, I either won't even start the process or will
give up soon thereafter. If I focus on the fact that I can't
spend any money on the temptations on sale at the moment I
am not likely to lay it aside for the cruise I want to go on
at the end of the year. If my thoughts are focused on the
many hours I will need to spend sweating over a hot computer
in order to write the book that's been rumbling around in my
head for some time, chances of starting this process are
pretty slim - right?
If, however, I change my
focus from self-deprivation to how fabulous I'm going to
look, how healthy I will be and how great I will feel when I
have lost the weight I want to shed, the pain lessens
immediately. If I shift my focus from the beckoning sales to
imagining myself on the deck of a cruise ship sailing into
the sunset as I am sipping champagne, laying aside the
necessary funds becomes a whole lot easier. And if I imagine
the pleasure, pride and joy I will feel at the launch of my
next book, spending hundreds of hours at the computer
doesn't seem like such a daunting process any more either.
So, how do we change our focus? Let me give you a few point.
CHANGING YOUR FOCUS
Determine to set aside some time for the focus changing
process. If you feel that you don't have that time, then
remind yourself of all the time you've taken in the past to
do loads of other things that have nowhere near as much
importance as the achievement of your dreams.
First, look at each of your
dreams and imagine what it would be like if you didn't
achieve them. What would you think, how would you feel? What
would you be missing out on? What would be the price you'd
need to pay to give up on them? If the price isn't
sufficiently high to get you motivated, either discard that
dream altogether or put it on a shelf to revisit some other
time in your life.
Having identified the dreams
you want to keep and pursue, it's helpful to create a really
vivid image of each one and to visualize the experience of
achievement. It's important that you now fully focus on a
visual image for each dream. What will it look like? What
will your thoughts be, your feelings? How proud of yourself
will you be? How will it impact your self-confidence and
self-esteem?
To truly get this the ball
rolling I consider, what I call a DREAMBOARD, to be a really
helpful tool. To create a dreamboard you need to buy a piece
of reasonably thick and solid paper. Then you need to find
magazine clippings, images, words and/or phrases that define
what YOU want. You cut them out and glue them on your board.
To illustrate: If it's a Porsche you are after, cut out the
image of the latest model Porsche you can find. Be sure that
it has the right colour and all the bits and pieces you want
in the Porsche of your dreams. If your dream is the
achievement of a great relationship with your partner be
sure you find images and/or words that will define the type
of relationship you want. Appropriate words might be love,
trust, romance, intimacy, honesty, etc...
Having finished the creation
of your dreamboard, place it in a prominent position - in a
space where your eyes will fall on it several times a day.
Doing this, you are actually helping your brain to remain
focused on your goals. It will also help you when the effort
of making the money you'll need to in order to buy the car
of your dreams threatens to overwhelm you or when you've
been thrown off-track by the hot argument you've just had
with your partner.
Will these strategies
guarantee success? No, but they certainly make success a far
more likely outcome than if you were just to rely on your
wishbone. The true SECRET is that once you shift your focus
from having to do stuff you don't like, (the self-discipline
required) to a focus on the immense pleasure and
satisfaction you will feel once you've achieved your goals
(the positive outcome you desire) then the journey you need
to take towards these achievements becomes a far more
pleasant and more easily sustainable one.
Enjoy the journey!
Sonja |
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WORDS OF WISDOM
People with goals succeed because they know where they're
going. (Earl Nightinggale)
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Life offers two great gifts
-time, and the ability to choose how we spend it. Planning
is a process of choosing among those many options. If we do
not choose to plan, then we choose to have others plan for
us. (Richard I. Winword)
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Until you make a conscious
decision to do something different, your life will never
change. (Byron V. Garrett) ****************
The greatest pleasure in life
is doing what people say you cannot do. (unknown)
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BOOK RECOMMENDATION
*******************
There are loads of great
books that are filled with wonderful suggestions as to how
we can get the best out of life. Today's recommendation is:
THINKING FOR A CHANGE: 11 Ways Highly Successful People
Approach Life and Work
by John C. Maxwell
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Sonja Ridden
331 Mona Vale Road
Terrey Hills NSW 2084 |
