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THE VALUE OF CHANGE
During the past few
months I have made some
significant changes in
my life. This has been,
and continues to be, a
process that the
therapist within me
observes with great
interest. In my
profession I, of course,
deal with the effects of
change in other people's
lives almost daily. I
witness the pain that
accompanies unwanted and
unexpected change such
as the death of a loved
one, separation and
divorce, the loss of a
job, of health, of
people's youth and
virility. In balance,
however, I also witness
the excitement that
accompanies desired
change. The joy of
someone who achieves a
goal that required much
personal sacrifice, the
satisfaction that
accompanies the outcome
of hard work. The sense
of victory for those
who've overcome massive
hurdles in order to get
to where they wanted to
go.
CHANGE IS INEVITABLE . .
.
No-one escapes change
but most of us fear it.
And why shouldn’t we? It
is, after all, a move
into unknown territory.
Change that comes
unbidden, of course,
contains the greatest
challenges and holds the
greatest fear. Questions
in such circumstances
might be: How am I
going to cope? What will
my world be like without
that special person? Who
will be there for me?
Will I have the support
I need? These are
questions that are
perfectly
understandable,
especially when the
change comes about as a
result of loss. However,
change can bring anxiety
even when we invite and
instigate it ourselves.
Questions that might
arise in such a
situation could be:
Have I really made the
right decision? Will
this change provide what
I desire? Is what I am
to gain going to
outweigh what I had to
let go?
Change, I've discovered,
is always accompanied by
a sense of
destabilisation. It is
true that when we sail
towards new territory we
must expect to, at least
temporarily, lose sight
of land. This is scary
and requires much
courage. However, when
we muster that courage,
we generally find that
it greatly enriches our
lives.
. . . GROWTH IS
INTENTIONAL
The saying goes:
Change is inevitable,
growth is intentional.
So what can we do to
ensure that we grow from
change, whether it be
change we've invited or
change that has come
unbidden? Here are a few
suggestions:
Look for the gifts
- Change may show you
something you might thus
far not have known.
Perhaps you had no idea
how strong you could be.
Perhaps your change
enabled you to discover
friends and supporters
you never knew you had.
Perhaps life turns out
to be much simpler as a
result of the change.
Perhaps you actually
like the result, even if
it wasn't something
you'd anticipated or
sought out? Change
carries a lot of gifts,
you just need to open
your eyes, your mind and
your heart so that
you'll be able to find
them.
Be willing to let go
- Do your perfectionist
tendencies support you
when change becomes
necessary, or not? If
not, then let go of
them! Is it helpful to
hold on to the
expectations you've had
of yourself, of others
or of life? If not, wave
them good-bye. Do your
friends support and
empower you on this
journey? If not, leave
them behind and turn
towards those who do.
Look for the message
- What are you learning
about yourself in the
change process? What are
you discovering about
others? What are you
going to do differently
in the here and now or
next time you are faced
with the challenge of
change? What's the
message in it for you?
Embrace the challenge
- Victor Frankl, a
concentration camp
survivor and man I
greatly admire, once
said: When we are no
longer able to change a
situation, we are
challenged to change
ourselves. I believe
that there is no greater
gift that we as human
beings have been given
than the capacity to
change ourselves. This
means, that whilst
acknowledging the role
my genetic makeup and
the environment in which
I was raised have a lot
to do with who I
currently am, I CAN
STILL CHOOSE to
become the person I want
to be. I can't change
what was but I can
change what is and I
have all the power I
need to become the
person I want to be.
As the new year
slowly draws to a close,
why not challenge
yourself about what
changes you may wish to
make in 2008 ?!</>
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BOOK RECOMMENDATION
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THINKING FOR A CHANGE:
by John C. Maxwell
For a an overview of the
contents of this books
click here
WORDS OF WISDOM
All changes, even the
most longed for, have
their melancholy; for
what we leave behind us
is a part of ourselves;
we must die to one life
before we can enter
another. (Anatole
France)
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Change always comes
bearing gifts. (Price
Pritchett
)
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Continuity gives us
roots; change gives us
branches, letting us
stretch and grow and
reach new heights.
(Pauline R. Kezel)
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If nothing ever changed,
there'd be no
butterflies. (author
unknown)
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331 Mona Vale Road
Terrey Hills NSW 2084 |
