Walking
in your step child’s shoes
Not
so long ago, I had the opportunity to be part of a discussion on
stepfamily issues on the Life Matters program on Radio National.
Whilst listening to Rachel, a lovely young lady who told about her
experiences as a stepchild I was reminded that...
No matter how difficult we find it as step-parents, it's just as
hard (if not harder) on stepchildren.
Stepchildren did not choose to be stepchildren - they are thrown
into the experience whether they like it or not.
Really relating to your stepkids
If
we think very carefully about the greatest pleasures and the
greatest pains we’ve experienced in our lives, chances are that
both have been closely connected with how we’ve felt about
ourselves at those moment.
Our greatest pleasures most likely occurred at times when we’ve
felt greatly loved, appreciated or when we’ve been able to be
someone or do something really special for someone else. Our
greatest pain was probably accompanied by a feeling of being
unlovable and unloved, rejected, incapable etc. This clearly
demonstrates that whilst every human being has a number of basic
needs, the greatest ones are to feel valued, worthwhile, capable
and loved. Because this is just as true for our stepchildren,
here are 10 keys of how you can nurture them
How
to disciple effectively
Let's
be quite clear that in stepfamilies the issue of discipline can
be an extremely difficult one and therefore can cause a lot of
confusion and anxiety.
I cannot tell you how often I hear from disgruntled re-partnered
mums and dads about their partner - "s/he is sooooooo tough on
MY kids but when it comes doing anything about his/her own, s/he
just turns to jelly and lets them get away with murder".
The reality is that we all have a deeper understanding and a
closer connection with our own children than with someone else's
